The Attitude of Gratitude

Written by Taylor Edgar

November is National Gratitude Month!  Maybe you celebrate Thanksgiving, or maybe you are simply looking for a perspective shift from a “glass half empty” to a “glass half full” outlook on life.  That very mentality, “glass half empty”, encapsulates a fundamental human experience- the tendency to focus on the negatives versus the positives.  But why is this mindset our default?  

Our Negative Default

The survival of our ancestors millenniums ago was dependent on this “negatively-focused” frame of mind, as it ensured their safety and survival.  Our ancestors’ worlds were full of threats, whether that be from predators, natural disasters, or food scarcity.  Focusing on the negatives ensured their vigilance and awareness of these threats.  From this default setting emerged the human ability to assess risk and make informed decisions.  Emotions like fear and anxiety have served as important survival mechanisms for the human race.  However, it is important to note that anxiety and fear do not necessarily serve us the same way it did for our ancestors.  

Mental Time Travel

For those of us struggling with anxiety and depression, the positives can seem like the furthest thing from our mind at times.  One commonality between anxiety and depression is the underlying negative patterns of thought.  Anxious and depressive thinking can be characterized by dwelling in the past and/or worrying about the future.  This thought process is referred to as “mental time travel” or rumination.  These sneaky, pervasive thought processes rob us of the joy of being in the present moment.  This is where the attitude of gratitude can be quite helpful.  

Gratitude as a Competing Response

One therapeutic practice called Habit Reversal Training utilizes what is called a “competing response”, or an action that is incompatible with the habit, which in this case are the negative thinking patterns we are trying to break free of.  What if we used the attitude of gratitude as a competing response to negative thinking patterns? 

Increasing Quality of Life with Gratitude

Research shows that the daily practice of gratitude can actually increase our quality of life in psychological and social domains.  Practicing gratitude promotes the development of new neural pathways.  Through cognitive restructuring, we can improve our awareness of our automatic thoughts and core beliefs.  This can help us bring attention to what is positive and valuable in our lives, versus things that are negative and valueless.  When gratitude is both received from others and put into practice at the individual level, our brain releases dopamine and serotonin- chemicals responsible for feelings of pleasure and happiness.  Furthermore, practicing gratitude builds our social relationships and enhances our desire to support others.  

Ways to Practice Gratitude

What are some ways that we can actively practice gratitude in our day-to-day lives?

Keeping a Gratitude Journal.  Write down a few things you’re grateful for each day.  This could be something as simple as the beautiful weather or a personal achievement.  

Express Your Thanks.  Don’t be afraid to tell people that you are grateful for them.  This could be in the form of a handwritten note or even a simple “thank you” or “I appreciate you”.  Sending a quick text can even go a long way.  

Reflect on Challenging Times.  Look for the silver lining in tough situations.  What did you learn about yourself from these situations?  How have you gathered your strength before?  Even in adversity, we can find gratitude.  

Focus on the Present Moment.  Mindfulness and gratitude go hand in hand.  The more we are able to slow down and dwell in the present moment, the more we are able to appreciate the little things in life.  

Notes to Keep in Mind

When adopting the attitude of gratitude, be mindful not to let it fuel your guilt.  In other words, we cannot allow our minds to use gratitude as a means to belittle any of our painful experiences.  What may this sound like for someone? 

“I shouldn’t be sad because I have so much to be grateful for.”  Sentiments like this one take the attitude of gratitude and use it as a means to self-sabotage Though reflective of negative patterns of thinking, anxiety and depression are not the result of being ungrateful.  You can hurt and be grateful concurrently.  

Gratitude is simply a skill that can be added to your “coping toolbox”, can be used to buoy you from negativity, and can help keep you grounded in the present moment.