Self-Compassion and CBT
What is Self-Compassion
“Treat someone the way you would want to be treated.” The golden rule that was once strongly enforced in our youth but now finds itself lost in the fast-paced world of adulthood. We live in an individualistic society where there is immense pressure to be the quintessential image of “success.” Sometimes we internalize negative self-talk, are overly critical of our mistakes, and hold too high of expectations for ourselves, which in turn leads to even more stress, anxiety, and burnout in day to day life.
There is an approach, however, that encourages a kinder, more compassionate way of understanding and relating to ourselves: self-compassion. Self-compassion is the golden rule of treating yourself the way you would treat others. When the practice of self-compassion is combined with cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT)- a widely used form of talk therapy- there is great possibility for transformative healing to occur.
CBT and Cognitive Restructuring
In CBT work, self-compassion is developed in the context of examining the thoughts, feelings, and behaviors connection. In CBT, the therapist aids the individual in analyzing critical, negative thought patterns they hold. By challenging these negative thought patterns and reframing our thinking, emotional wellbeing can improve and unhealthy behavioral patterns can be broken. Through the process of cognitive restructuring, “all-or-nothing thinking” can be challenged with self-compassion (ex., “I am a failure.” vs “I am human, I made a mistake, and I am choosing to learn from this situation.”).
CBT and Building Resilience
CBT work helps individuals in learning how to cope with negative emotions like sadness or anxiety. Many people that lack self-compassion lack positive coping skills, as they are critical and judgemental toward the feelings they experience. CBT encourages us to lean into these emotions with compassion and curiosity with the goal of understanding our feelings and learning to sit in the vulnerability of them. Once practiced, self-compassion can produce feelings of emotional safety.
CBT and Motivations for Change
Just as we adopt compassion and curiosity when analyzing our emotions, CBT calls on us to approach behavioral change with that same mindset. Behavioral change is hard to accomplish when an individual’s internal dialogue is full of self-criticism and shame. Rather than fearing failure or not being “good enough,” self-compassion reminds us that setbacks are a natural part of the growth process, offering ongoing opportunities for learning and self-discovery.
A Holistic Approach
Self-compassion and cognitive behavioral therapy are two powerful tools that, when combined, can offer a multitude of holistic benefits to one’s overall wellbeing. Self-compassion allows individuals to manage their struggles with kindness and empathy, and CBT provides a structured approach to promoting more positive thought patterns and behavioral changes.
All Whole Wellness Counseling therapists are trained in CBT and are here to help you take that first small step in the direction of adopting self-compassion and creating a life filled with greater peace and happiness.
