ADHD Overwhelm
Navigating the Storm of ADHD Overwhelm
For those of us with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder), overwhelm can feel like a storm crashing through life, often without warning. This emotional and mental flood can be triggered by a variety of factors such as an increasing load of unfinished work tasks, lifestyle changes like school starting, or simply the weight of daily responsibilities. Carrying the stigma attached to living and working with ADHD exacerbates this flood. People experiencing ADHD overwhelm can feel very alone on their path.
What Is ADHD Overwhelm?
Some signs of ADHD overwhelm are difficulty prioritizing, forgetfulness, heightened impulsivity, and worsening procrastination. It can also lead to the manifestation of headaches, fatigue, or other physical symptoms. ADHD paralysis is another sign of overwhelm, which can be described as analysis paralysis or ADHD shutdown. It occurs when we are overloaded with information, tasks, or the environment, and shut down or freeze. This response is usually out of our control.
Even if a diagnosis is not made until later in life, because ADHD begins before the age of 12, symptoms are frequently seen as intentional misbehaviors, weaknesses, or defects in children. As a result, they blame themselves, internalizing guilt and shame that remain with them into adulthood. These deeply ingrained, harmful effects become compounded and contribute to overwhelm.
How to quiet the storm:
A daily brain dump: Holding and trying to organize too much information in your brain causes overwhelm. Write it down to help you calm your nervous system.
Set an alarm: Like a brain dump, setting an alarm for tasks takes the pressure off of your brain and body.
Find your own way: Planners and calendars may increase your stress. Experiment with a notebook or using your phone to keep track of your tasks and lists. Try reminders.
Aim for good enough: We are human; perfect is not possible. Good enough is a healthy goal. Be kind to yourself the same way you would for a loved one.
Take a break and move: Physical exercise is an important tool. Set your alarm again. Pause, breathe, then take a walk, but if all you can do is stand and/or stretch, that is good enough. It can help you relax.
Don’t forget yourself: Do what you enjoy. Spend a little time (away from technology) with understanding friends, working on a hobby, or contributing to your community for a sense of purpose. This is self-care.
A positive note:
It is possible to learn coping skills and practice them in a good enough way for greater resilience and moments of calm. Noticing your strengths can go a long way toward managing ADHD overwhelm, allowing you to live your best life. You are not alone.
Facts about ADHD:
ADHD is not a personality disorder, mental illness, or character flaw. It is a chronic brain disorder caused by a deficiency in neurotransmitters that affect chemicals like dopamine, impacting executive functioning, impulsivity, organization, emotional regulation, and the processing of information and communication.
People with ADHD are not lazy or careless; the majority are determined problem solvers living in a different world that feels impossible to explain. People with ADHD need to expend more mental energy than the average person to accomplish tasks like meeting deadlines or replying to emails. This means they are actually trying harder than neurotypical people.
In addition to coping with the many symptoms of overwhelm, people with ADHD contend with feelings of being misunderstood by those who think the solution to their struggles is a matter of willpower or deciding to “just do it” or “get over it.”
A few validating quotes from the experts:
Dr. Edward Hallowell, leading psychiatrist and coauthor of the books Driven to Distraction and Delivered from Distraction says, “The misunderstandings of ADHD begin with the term Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. It's a horrible term. We don’t have a deficiency of attention, but an abundance of it…” He compares it to having, “an amazingly powerful Ferrari engine of a brain with bicycle brakes.”
Hallowell believes, “The biggest problem we face is ignorance and stigma. The contentiousness around ADHD is simply rooted in ignorance.”
“Many if not most clinicians aren’t educated in accurate information on ADHD. So what happens is the adult or parent has to become an advocate for themselves. And it’s such a struggle, having to fight so hard in every arena to be understood and not seen as less than anybody else.” ~Terry Matlen, MSW, advocate, psychotherapist and the author of Survival Tips for Women with AD/HD
“The lay public still thinks that ADHD is an excuse or that people use it as a cop-out for bad behavior if they're not performing, not fulfilling job obligations, deadlines, or obligations at home.” ~Dr. Patricia Quinn, a renowned pediatrician, author, and founder of the National Center for Girls and Women with ADHD
Resources to find support for your ADHD overwhelm or for someone you know:
https://directory.additudemag.com/
https://add.org/adda-virtual-programs/
Tools to try:
Focusmate (for body-doubling/accountability partners)
Remembering the Milk (specifically for ADHD overwhelm)
